well i haven't posted for quite a while, don't know what ive been doing really. it has been so reasuring just now to read the blogs of the fellow sellers family. i feel out on a limb up north sometimes, by no fault of my own. i just cant seem to bring my self to go visit my family, because it isnt my family, i mean they are all my family and oh boy do i love them all, but there is one missing, and that is just too much of a reality check for me to be there and MFL not to be. i guess i try and pretend as much as i can which is easy to do up here away from the centre of this tragady. six months has gone by now and to be honest it has flown by, it has been the fastest six months of my life, yet each day seems to be the slowest that i have to deal with. its a strange feeling of having no feeling of the time that passes, all i feel is the pain, the bit thats missing. the happy memories are so easily forgotten because the pain is still so strong, i realise though that in time the balance will be restored and hopefully all my memories will return and by as happy and jolly as matt was. i have just read mrs teapots blog, the pictures are ace! i know we have the first one at home.
there really are so many memories of my life with matt in them, i always used to be so chuffed when him and alan came to stay, alan and sarah would run off and play as they are so close in age, and mat would stay with me, make time for me, make me feel so loved, and i know that i was. i can say now though that through the loss of FLN me and al have become so much closer, and for that i am so greatful. i was so scared of what i was going to do now he had gone, who was i meant to talk to, and the whole family have been great.
i dont know where this blog was meant to be heading or what it was meant to be sayin, i have simply being writtin what has come into my head. and i just want to say thank you for people support to me and to the rest of my family.
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7 comments:
Hang on in there meemee.
Teapot is with her dad til Saturday and it is quiet here (!) with just me and Al.
It is hard to reckon with what we have seen and done these last 6 months but you are very much part of us and we are always looking out for your next blog!
yo sis....love you!!! I've got a blog now too if you fancy a read...decided it seems to be helping all you lot so might as well get on bored. I'm at musingsfromyorkshire, love you xx
Hi meemee!
Just driven back from Lancs! Will I do as a replacement comment for hs!!
I so love reading your random blogs. Keep going. Like I commented to ladyface! ha ha! I have to say how i feel and we all keep each other going by how much we all miss Matt.
Spring is sad for me this year, even daffiodils have the capacity to make me cry.
Blog on!!!
Connections are made in surprising ways,we all feel things in our own way, but hearing how each other feels is so important.None of us is really alone. Even the most random of ramblings is important.
x
P.S.Have tried to comment each time before,but couldn't get through.Have finally got it sorted!
x
Must be catching as your cousin Al(an!)'s car, (I'm not allowed to call him Al........)
won't start either!
Too cold!!
Flat battery
Funds low...........
How long has it taken me to read your blog! I can never feel another's pain because each hurts in a different way - but my heart aches and I wish I could bear yours too. The thing is though it is going somewhere, all that we've shared - I don't know the full story or the final destination but it's got to be good
X
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