its been along while since my fingers have touched these keys, too long, so here i am back again! the past few months like the ones before have been filled with ups and downs. at the moment i have been struggling so much with my faith and i decided to talk to dave (my boyfriend who is not a christian) about this, and i think i got more from him than talkin to super holy people! he was just open and honest and didnt try to make things sound complicated and i think thanks to him that i will be staying at church as i was seriously thinkin about jacking it all in, its not that i dnt believe it, i do, i just don't really want to, it seems to make my life feel more complicated, i feel let down by god and without thinkin about it all it just makes life crap which doesn't feel half as bad as being let down and hurt by your 'father'.
anywhos my ups have been great and i am now thinkin of looking for a new job, as there are only a few things in life that you have control of and this is one of them so i shall try turn the things in my life round that i dont like and then hopefully when the uncontrollable things hit i wont have a deep hole to fall into just a safty net!
ta ta for now one and all!
4 comments:
Good to hear you again.Love you lots.
You know PPT (that's powerpoint!) just keep being honest. You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations but God is worth hanging on to and I'm sure you and he can work it out somehow.
I think anyone who knew Matt and Chris well will have been in the same boat at some point. My faith has been rocked to the core in the last 10.5 months. This has also been a good thing, believe it or not. I have questioned everything I understand about God, I have also sort council with a wise person, who didn't have all the answers, but helped me come to terms with myself and my faith which isn’t stronger but it is different.
It is good to talk with someone and open up, that helps you sort out the in's and out's of what is going on deep in the mind. I have found these are the times God actually talked through people and into my heart and mind.
I am praying for you and that God will show peace.
Hi Amy,
Just recently I've been in a black hole too.
Something to do with not being well.......and missing Matt so much it's like a physical pain.
But for me the words in a psalm (139)came to mind in the middle of a night when I did not even want to go on living in a world without my oldest son.
"If I make my bed in HELL you are there......."
And I have to say "Yes He is" so keep on looking.......even in the s**t .........asking questions, come and see us,
no inquisition, you would be welcome, and Dave too. NO strings.
Lots of love
Teapot Vivxxxxxxxxxxxx
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